::NED Archive::

So I learned something last night: never try to have an intellectual conversation with an alcoholic Mexican over the internet.

As a matter of fact, never try to have any kind of conversation with anyone over the internet....EVER!

I'm cold and hungry today. Now I know what a Jew feels like. JEW ASSES JEW ASSES RAINING UPON ME FROM HEAVEN!!

I have been smote by Semitic butt cheeks. Do I have a bruise?

I'm probably going to get a big butt shaped bruise on my head now and then I'll have to explain it to the cops.

I hate explaining things to the cops, I just don't like cops at all. They make my eyes smell funny even when I look at them.

I want some bacon. Today is just random, so it must be Thursday. Did that make sense? Did that make cents?!? Did that make you any money you douche-bags?!?

See what I mean?

What if my butt just started bleeding, and never stopped and what if I never died or anything, it just never stopped like GOOSHING blood!!!!!!!!! ?

I could work for a blood bank

I would be hella rich

even if i say somthing completly out of context, like this?

So I had alot of things to talk about today, but I seem to have misplaced my notes. I can't find them at all.

Umm,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,people don't use enough commas, so I'm making up for it.

Grammatical fuckwits!

I just smelled tortillas! But I think I'm going to go have Whitecastle instead :(

GOOSHING blood!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So the other night, my friend showed me some indie films on this site called www.hypnotic.com (I'm too lazy to put that into an HTML link, so cut and paste, you bladder fishies!!!!!) and there are some funny movies on there like 'The Parlor' and 'Hot Pants' (is still laughing about those) but THEN I saw this one called 'The Floater'!

I almost vomited TWICE! TWICE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I usually only almost vomit once when watching romantic films about a girl and boy making out and who are about to FUCK, but then the girl has to go the bathroom and she sits down and drops some Hershey squirts into God's Stink Pot only to find out that when she flushes it, it doesn't work and now she has ploppy crap doo-doo chunks floating around in her broken piss tank and they SHOW THIS!!!!

Did I say I almost only vomit once when watching movies like that? Well shit, I just vomited right now talking about it! If I had my camera turned on recording this, I could post it on the net as 'experimental film'.

GACK! That's what's in my throat right now, just GACK!!

Damn, I wish Whitecastle delivered.....Whitecastle is the cause of floaters, might I add.....perhaps I should take a camera into the bathroom with me today and see what kind of Spielberg's I can squeeze out of my brown eye.

NO! anal leakage is NOT my cup of tea!!!!!!!!! i brought tea with me to work im gonna drink it

I NEED WARM WATER!

Whoa, big letters! They're going to take over the world!! But not one zero at a time, like I am! I have my own plan, wanna hear it?

Come closer

closer

closer

closer

closer

closer

HA! I made you bang your head on your screen you fuckwit!! Ha ha ha ha ha ha, I mock you!

How does it feel?

How does it feel to be one of the beautiful people?!?

Haha mutinous scum I will pillage your pillsbury dough pants and seek little nuggets of wisdom in your loins!

I suppose this is where I crack wise about the Unix guy not showing up.

"Unix guy isn't here"

There.

Today is a day of secrets.

I think "Thurs"day (when you translate it from English to *mumbles inaudibly*) actually means, "Ha ha I know something you don't neener neener neener!"day.

Let me get a *woootin* for Otis Redding!

Sit'n on da dock of da bay!

Well, I don't know how to end this.

I just realized that I don't know how I know that I'm done writing for the day.

Hear me?

I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA SO STOP E-MAILING ME ASKING HOW I KNOW WHEN I'M DONE WRITING FOR THE DAY CUZ I JUST DON'T KNOW YOU JACK-A-NUTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

and I haven't had a bloody nose in years