yet another fly in the trap

Jummped on the okcupid site again today, and another girl IMed me. this time through the site. heres how it all played out:

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her - hi

me - is it?

me - you can dance if you want too...

me - but if you touch my friends, i'll fucking eat your hands clean off

her - ??

me - ???

her - why cant i touch your friends?

me - because they exsist only in my mind :(

her - aww im sorry

me - how sorry?

her - you can borrow my friends

me - will they fit in my head?

me - are they made of lava?!?!

me - my head is not lava-proof :(

her - they wont fit in your head

me - oh nos!

me - will they try to defeat my outter-head?

her - no

her - they will watch movies with you

me - i cant watch movies, im totaly blind from the neck down :(

her - from the neck down?

me - dont make fun of my disability!!!

her - i wasnt

me - oh. please forgive me interpufunty

her - ??

me - its a type of dinosaur

her - ok

me - have you ever met one?

her - no sir cant say that i have

me - thats because they all died 120 million weeks ago

me - I MEAN YEARS!!! YEARS!!!!! :(:(:(:(

her - its ok

me - thank you very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very much.

her - are you special?

me - only if you've got a coupon :( try back next week though!!!

her - why only frowny faces?

me - because my face was removed by the viet kong, during the bay of pigs.

her - that sucks

me - i have a special hole for that in my left arm. the doctors routed all my suck glands there.

her - eww

me - its not that bad! i can eat apple sause with my elbow!!!!!!!!!

her - yup

her - yum

me - do you want to kiss with my stump?

her - no thanks

me - :)

me - I MEAN :(

me - DO YOU THINK IM CUTE???

her - ooooh nooo i got a smile

her - adorable

me - more adorable than a kitten with a knife?

her - no

me - why not? are you racist?

her - no

me - thats good, because im a race!

me - maybe we should meet! im atthe coffee shop. where are you???

her - in SC

me - silly critters? no no! im down the road from there!!!

her - South Carolina

me - never been there. is that near silly critters?

her - nope

me - can you walk to silly critters? we can share an onion pizza!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

her - eww

me - ewwwwwwwwy ewwwwwy chewem up-a-cheewwwwyyyy!!!!

me - you know the team battle cry!!!!

me - well i have to go battle hunger. please keep your recipt, ok?

me - OK BYE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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-Demolicious