Godlike abuse

I just tore into a level 4, severity fart. Its destroying the fabric of comfort ( not to mention the fabric of the plush office chair my ass is currently abusing), which brought my lack luster productivity to a steaming (good word choice, eh?) halt.

I awoke at 8am this morn thanks to a phone cal requiring my computer skills. After such events, I tried hopelessly to stay awake (for the children) but alas, I failed.

In and out of my sleepless prison for hours, until my life finally reached the "11 am" mark, which (bewildered with guilt) forced me out of bed and into the shower, to where I cursed and swore at my scolding hot water.

Its amazing actually, most apartments I’ve blessed with my being have had horrible water pressure, or fridged glacier like flow. However, with my new place, I have the polar opposite. The water flows with the force of 12 titans, and the heat of 20 gods (bathing in lava).

This however, is the least of my problems. Theres the neighbor kids. OOOHHHH the neighbor kids. What fun they represent. Sitting in front of my door ALL FUCKING DAY scream incompressible 'words' at each other. One of them has take to riding his plastic tricycle of NOISE all the way up to my front window, and peeking in at me while I waste my life away on Ultima Online, as if I cant see this 7 year old bag of shit.

But I will not let this infant defeat me. He is my sworn enemy and must suffer immensely. I have yet to come up with a Whil-E-Cyote like schematic illustrating his demise, for I have been busy summoning the powers of evil to combat this mysterious noise coming from behind my bar.

I think I am harboring a wall beaver. Hes a smart one too. He only makes noise when Im watching TV, but I hear him thinking.... plotting. This is just a theory, but we'll see in time.

Ive rambled long enough for now. More may come when I drink these cans of sex I have next to me. (redbull)

-Demo (-licious)